Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

As the vendor heard every word we said with full attention, he asked if he could share one story from his life as well. “Oh come on, stop with the formality!” — I sighed in slight exasperation.

While we had our snacks, I noticed that the vendor was enveloped in a strange aura of melancholy. Completely opposite to the bright smile he greeted us with. As my friend and I talked about our hardships, I noticed he had come up to us. He politely asked us if he could join our conversation. We gladly took him in.

From our hardships to our relationship issues, we talked it all out that day. Every single piece of our hearts that was struggling to find light. It was enlightening.

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“As a young boy, I often found myself contemplating the true worth of my existence. One day, I mustered the courage to inquire about this from my father, seeking the wisdom of his life experiences.

Though puzzled, I followed my father's instructions faithfully. At the market, a lady expressed interest in the rock for her garden. Without a word, I raised two fingers, and to my astonishment, she promptly offered two dollars in exchange.

“My father was successful in life. But, he had a terrible habit — gambling.”

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As I stood in the store, the proprietor's eyes widened in awe at the sight of the rock. Recognizing its rarity, he made an astonishing offer of two hundred thousand dollars.

As the vendor finished his story, we all sat there, deeply moved by his words. I wanted to say something to comfort him, to let him know that his openness meant a lot to us. So, I just placed my hand on his shoulder, offering silent support.

However, we were not ready for what was about to follow.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

As we got ready to leave, I felt thankful for the chance encounter at the tea stall. Even though the day was ending, I carried with me a sense of warmth from the vendor's resilience. It was a reminder of the power of sharing and connecting with others.

The sun was in it's final moments as our bikes stuttered to a stop at a tea stall. I noticed that it was awfully silent. Dead silent. It felt quite unusual since we were in the countryside. Pushing those thoughts aside, we ordered tea and some snacks.

“Now, all that our family owns in this stall. My father and uncle were both very hardworking. My family spent all out lives toiling under the sun. They only had work on their mind until they reaped the results. After reaping the fruit, they began searching for excitement — which gambling easily provided. With all this success, they became addicted to gambling. Don't we all get addicted to something that takes our pain away? With the initial wins, they grew bolder and began wagering entire fields. And, they lost everything. My family was devastated. After a week, my father hanged himself from that tree” — he said pointing at a Banyan tree behind the stall.

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I was out with my friend. It had been an incredibly tiring week, so we decided to get off our schedule and do something new. We took out our bikes and just went along till the end of the day.

Shocked by the sudden surge in value, I hurried back to inform my father. Yet, he wasn't finished imparting his wisdom. He sent me to a prestigious gemstone store with the rock, advising me to remain silent and raise two fingers if queried about its price.

Upon returning home, I relayed the curious events to my father. Unperturbed, he then instructed me to take the rock to a museum, repeating the same silent gesture if anyone sought to purchase it. Once again, I complied, and this time, a gentleman eagerly parted with two hundred dollars for the rock.

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In that moment, I saw a mix of sadness and gratitude in his eyes. It was like we shared an unspoken understanding, a connection born from sharing our stories.

He proceeded to narrate an incident of his childhood that shaped his life.

He pointed towards the fields and said, “All these fields were owned by my family.” — with a slight smile of reminiscence on his face.

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Overwhelmed by the magnitude of the offer, I hurried back to my father to share the incredible news. It was then that he delivered a profound lesson that would stay with me for a lifetime.

But amidst the sorrow, there was also a glimmer of resilience in the vendor's eyes. He spoke of rebuilding his family's life from the ashes, of finding solace in the simplicity of running the tea stall, and of cherishing the moments spent connecting with people like us who stumbled upon his humble abode.

We sat there in stunned silence, grappling with the gravity of his story. It was a stark reminder of how quickly fortunes could change, and how the pursuit of fleeting thrills could lead to irreversible consequences.

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Rather than offering a direct response, my father handed me a simple rock with an intriguing task: sell it in the marketplace. However, there was a twist — whenever someone inquired about its price, I was to silently raise two fingers without uttering a word.

Armed with this newfound insight, I embarked on life's journey with renewed confidence, understanding that my worth was not dictated by external stuff but by the choices I made and the company I kept.”

As the vendor's words resonated in the quiet twilight, I felt a pang of empathy for his family's plight. His voice quivered slightly as he recounted the tragedy that befell his family. I could sense the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air, casting a somber veil over the once lively tea stall.

What is the most heartbreaking or sad love story that you ever had (experienced)?

He explained that the rock symbolized my life, and its varying valuations mirrored how others perceived my worth. He taught me that irrespective of my origins or circumstances, I possessed an intrinsic value akin to a precious diamond awaiting discovery.